self conscious

[anxietypeaker]

hi all,

i am a mdphd (mstp) student at a lower to mid tier school and just barely broke 240 on step 1. I'm pretty studious but relatively slow in terms of picking up on things quickly. my school has honors/pass/fail and i've honored well over the average number of units in my class (~2x more). Granted, I havent really been able to do any clinical rotations (my school has it where all clinical rotations are after your phd).

Just wanted to ask the residents/people who recently matched, did you guys ever have others be surprised by your decision to pursue nsurg? I ask because people i know have been shocked by my interest in nsurg and say that i dont have that personality. I think they mean that i like doing bench research, I'm not all about grades, never was a "gunner," and didnt really have that attitude of "i will do nsurg and nothing will stop me." I was a bit surprised by others' reactions, but i am beginning to feel a little concerned after a research resident i knew said the same thing. They usually say that my personality fits ophtho more. I guess, my question is, how do you know if its a personality fit...i guess i just dont know what that means.

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[Encephalectomy]

i had this a bit as well, that many people didnt see me as a personality fit for neurosurg (though I think I am very similar to many of the residents at the program that I matched). A bit more laid back than the average neurosurgery resident. bottom line is that I don't think you need to be the same as all the other neurosurgery people, but you do have to be ok working with those types of people for the rest of your career and I'd also do some real introspection to make sure that it is what you really want to do.