I would suggest the following:
Sit down for 3 minutes. Then, think clearly about what the situation is and all of the people involved. Then, consider the reasons why, or why they won’t, provide you with a reference.
Then, this is the fun part, it’s time to take action. When you take action, you may consider making a phone call to the relevant person/persons. Upon dialing, take a deep breath - inhale, then exhale and shake off all those pesky phone call jitters. Don’t be afraid, your cool, your confident, everybody likes you....
When someone answers the phone it is usually a rendition of “hello”. The proper response in a professional conversation would be, “hi, my name is __, May I please speak to ___?” At this point it is not unusual to get a case of the jitters again. As they put you on hold, quickly put the phone on mute and hyperventilate into a paper bag.
Then, this is usually when the other party will pick up the phone and say something like, “hi, this is ___, how may I help you”. You now have the attention of the other party and you may engage into a conversation about the situation.
I know! It’s difficult - talking to people.... it really is unusual speaking words instead of using text to communicate and emojis to convey emotion. But, believe it or not, people used to communicate with verbal expressions.
Alright I’m done - apparently it’s going to be a weird day.. haha