Surgery?

[lilnoelle]

I already posted this question on the surgical subforums but am not getting much of a response. If you could give me your thoughts on the matter, I'd appreciate it.
I'm an M1 and so obviously I don't know what field I'm headed into, but surgery fascinates me. Honestly, I can't think of another job that is cooler. Even the president of the United States holds nothing on a surgeon. I can very easily see myself as a surgeon - lifestyle and all... except I already have kids.
I'm a mother to a 3 1/2 year old and 18 month old. They will be 7 and 5 when I finish med school. I'm very much concerned about how me going into a time intensive field will affect them.
My husband claims he is willing to be a SAHD, but I'm honestly not all that impressed with the level of support he has been giving me this first year. Even as a med student, I'm doing everything for our kids in the evening and he sits on the couch while I fix supper, bathe the kids, and put them to bed.
Honestly, I'm not even sure our marriage will last through med school, much less residency.
I am interested in other fields and because of the lifestyle of surgery I have pretty much discounted it as an option - yet it just seems so amazing, I'm afraid I may not be able to walk away from it in the end. Are there other Mom's like me who have school age children in a surgical residency? How do you manage it? How are your children fairing?

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[Chinorean]

I think it is possible to do surgery without sacrificing your kids -- maybe you can talk to some female residents or surgeons and see how they managed? A supportive spouse is probably really important.

 

[Iluvdocs]

Hi there... The only advice I can give is not really advice but just what I have seen over the past 8 months. I currently ended a realtionship with a guy whos brother is a neurosurgeon resident. He intended on being a pediatrician but once he found surgery he was fascinated.. He has no kids and is finding it Extremley difficult as he has absolutley no life outside of the hospital. He was in an aweful car wreck last year from lack of sleep him and his wife (who by the way is not thrilled he chose surgery) relocated to be closer to the hospital. Every holiday or family get together we spend if lucky 1 hour with him before he has to go. I am not trying to talk you out of it.. I too am struggling to find a way just to become an MD with one child and 1 unsupportive ... I just wanted to give you a look at what I have seen. Good luck to you in what ever you choose.

 

[LovelyRita]

First off, read this.

Second, your kids' lives are going to be shortchanged enough no matter what residency you choose (all residencies are hard except derm, IMO). You've made the choice to bring them into this world, so unless you have an absolute massive amount of moral and financial support from your husband and family, it's likely that you are going to be mostly unavailable to them for about 5 years or more. I know you love surgery and the OR and all that comes with it, (or at least you idolize it), but don't spread yourself too thin. And doing surgery residency and the subsequent career may actually do that, sad to say. Currently there's no such thing as part-time surgery residency.

I don't want to sound mean, but being a mom is tough enough, I'm sure. I'd love to see it change and become more female/mom-friendly, I really really would, and I do know that there are women out there who are surgeons and moms, but the ones I know had their babies in the last year of residency or as an attending. Residency is minimally tolerant of you having an outside life. It's not like you graduate from med school and get a "job" as a resident, you are owned by the hospital.

You spend at least 10-12 hours there a day, with a couple days off a month and don't forget about the 30-hour calls. That means you're not home for a day and a half. Every 3-4 days. For 5 years.

Look there are other options....don't over look radiology, derm, medicine subspecialties (cardio, GI, etc) that may have somewhat kinder training programs. What about optho? I think their residency is a lot of "home-call". And you get to go to the OR and do procedures.

I wish you the best of luck, woman Take good care of you and yours.