MD Socialization - How much value does it have ?

[Slytheryn]

I've heard different opinions on this : some say it's not important at all, because by the time you get to work together in the hospital, everyone's going to be busy with its own clique anyway, but others say it is important, because you'll going to have more opportunities and you're going to develop social skills if you do it ( in some field, such as Psychiatry, social skills are really important ).

I'm getting along well with everyone in Med school, but I don't hang out with them outside of school. The reason is not that I wouldn't be invited, but I always have better things to do and by better, I mean activities that don't involve a lot of small-talk. Because the majority of the people in Med school go out in clubs, or go to concerts, or go shopping, or go to see a movie, but it all comes down to the same thing : making small-talk, and I'm not skilled at small-talk.

Maybe it's a deficiency and I should improve it while I'm in Med school, but I simply love to spend my free time by going to the gym or swimming, or having intellectual talks with a very few close friends, or reading exciting books.
I really like my classmates, there's nothing wrong with them, and many of them like me also, but I think that I couldn't manage to make more small talk with them than I already do in Med school and I know that for me it's dreading to make small-talk, while for them it would be dreading to talk about things that I like to talk about ( things that I could talk with people in their 40s and 50s ).

Thanks for your time !

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[Redpancreas]

I've heard different opinions on this : some say it's not important at all, because by the time you get to work together in the hospital, everyone's going to be busy with its own clique anyway, but others say it is important, because you'll going to have more opportunities and you're going to develop social skills if you do it ( in some field, such as Psychiatry, social skills are really important ).

I'm getting along well with everyone in Med school, but I don't hang out with them outside of school. The reason is not that I wouldn't be invited, but I always have better things to do and by better, I mean activities that don't involve a lot of small-talk. Because the majority of the people in Med school go out in clubs, or go to concerts, or go shopping, or go to see a movie, but it all comes down to the same thing : making small-talk, and I'm not skilled at small-talk.

Maybe it's a deficiency and I should improve it while I'm in Med school, but I simply love to spend my free time by going to the gym or swimming, or having intellectual talks with a very few close friends, or reading exciting books.
I really like my classmates, there's nothing wrong with them, and many of them like me also, but I think that I couldn't manage to make more small talk with them than I already do in Med school and I know that for me it's dreading to make small-talk, while for them it would be dreading to talk about things that I like to talk about ( things that I could talk with people in their 40s and 50s ).

Thanks for your time !

It's incredibly valuable. It's the key to breaking the ice and making friends and making connections in your field to secure a coveted residency/fellowship/job. You could be the smartest/most capable resident but still end up at an average residency program for your chosen specialty if you don't branch out and make yourself likable. I'm saying this as an introvert.



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[togaedere]

Aside from what it can get you career-wise, I would say that building the skill of connecting with others is important for life. It will make the intangibles of every work environment that much easier (I would argue that it's helpful in more than just the work realm too). There is not one job in medicine that doesn't require you to interact with other human beings. The jobs are all over the spectrum with how much they value extrovert vs. introvert skills, but connecting with others who are not your closest friends or family (i.e. colleagues, patients, consultants, attendings on on- or off-service rotations, seniors, interns, med students, etc etc) has value.

If you have an interest in learning how to build the skill, I would suggest not thinking about it as small talk (sounds superficial and mindless) but rather about attempting to establish connection. What do people do in their spare time? What sort of family are they from? Where did they grow up? What sports do they follow? Or literally anything about another person.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you liking what you like (gym, swimming, talking with friends). I would also argue that social connection is a skill just like any other. It can be learned, and being good at it can go a long way to personal satisfaction in a lot of realms.

I've heard different opinions on this : some say it's not important at all, because by the time you get to work together in the hospital, everyone's going to be busy with its own clique anyway, but others say it is important, because you'll going to have more opportunities and you're going to develop social skills if you do it ( in some field, such as Psychiatry, social skills are really important ).

I'm getting along well with everyone in Med school, but I don't hang out with them outside of school. The reason is not that I wouldn't be invited, but I always have better things to do and by better, I mean activities that don't involve a lot of small-talk. Because the majority of the people in Med school go out in clubs, or go to concerts, or go shopping, or go to see a movie, but it all comes down to the same thing : making small-talk, and I'm not skilled at small-talk.

Maybe it's a deficiency and I should improve it while I'm in Med school, but I simply love to spend my free time by going to the gym or swimming, or having intellectual talks with a very few close friends, or reading exciting books.
I really like my classmates, there's nothing wrong with them, and many of them like me also, but I think that I couldn't manage to make more small talk with them than I already do in Med school and I know that for me it's dreading to make small-talk, while for them it would be dreading to talk about things that I like to talk about ( things that I could talk with people in their 40s and 50s ).

Thanks for your time !

 

[meurotic]

Wipe the words "small-talk" out of your vocabulary. You can have meaningful conversations with just about any stranger or classmate if you are an effective listener and play to their interests.

 

[sliceofbread136]

Get over yourself please

 

[mistafab]

If you find people that like things you like, it isn't small talk. If you care about people, it isn't small talk. It is only small talk if you don't care.

The trick isn't to get better at small talk - the trick is to talk about things you care about, talk about things the other person cares about, or care about the person you talk with.

 

[meurotic]

If you find people that like things you like, it isn't small talk. If you care about people, it isn't small talk. It is only small talk if you don't care.

The trick isn't to get better at small talk - the trick is to talk about things you care about, talk about things the other person cares about, or care about the person you talk with.

Boom

 

[muhali3]

Wipe the words "small-talk" out of your vocabulary. You can have meaningful conversations with just about any stranger or classmate if you are an effective listener and play to their interests.

Agree with this. to be honest, I used to think like you OP, that everyone who had a lot of friends were just people who had superficial friendships talking about superficial things. Well, it's not true. In order to get to know the people you could have a deeper connection with, you need to get to know people on a surface level first. And you do that by talking to them and getting to know them. Pretty simple although unfortunately not intuitive for a lot of people. You can't just immediately jump into a deep friendship with random people, you need to get to know them first.

 

[RogueBanana]

I was thinking about this the other day. My current job doesn't require I speak to other humans in any meaningful way. I also live alone.

I was asked to hang out with some old friends the last night and I couldn't help but notice how amazingly happy I was to just talk with people I knew. I realized that I am prone to get despondent when I don't have enough social interaction.

For my own mental health I'll probably be quitting this job for something more socially involved.

 

[cellsaver]

....but it all comes down to the same thing : making small-talk, and I'm not skilled at small-talk.

My hero Dr Sherry Turkle describes it best in her "Goldilocks effect" analogy:

Across the generations, I see that people can't get enough of each other, if and only if they can have each other at a distance, in amounts they can control. I call it the Goldilocks effect: not too close, not too far, just right. But what might feel just right for that middle-aged executive can be a problem for an adolescent who needs to develop face-to-face relationships. An 18-year-old boy who uses texting for almost everything says to me wistfully, "Someday, someday, but certainly not now, I'd like to learn how to have a conversation."

When I ask people "What's wrong with having a conversation?" People say, "I'll tell you what's wrong with having a conversation. It takes place in real time and you can't control what you're going to say." So that's the bottom line. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body — not too little, not too much, just right.​

Sherry Turkle TED Talk
Connected, but alone?

 

[NontradCA]

Do I have the right to join other groups Anatomy labs ?

No OP. You're fine doing exactly what you're doing.

 

[Astra]

this thread title is written like someone pretending to be a human

 

[Chelsea FC]

 

[ortnakas]

OP, while I'd argue interacting with other humans has intrinsic value even without consider medicine and its implications, I'm not going to bother. I will say that conversational skills are going to be essential no matter what specialty you choose.

Do I have the right to join other groups Anatomy labs ?

No OP. You're fine doing exactly what you're doing.

Too funny. Good find.

 

[Slytheryn]

Do I have the right to join other groups Anatomy labs ?

So what ? That professor is truly great, I don't care about the gag reflex joke, he's truly impressive for every student and I'm not the only one who goes to his lab to see how he's presenting the lesson

 

[Slytheryn]

By the way, thanks for all the answer, they were very useful !

 

[Anicetus]

I've heard different opinions on this : some say it's not important at all, because by the time you get to work together in the hospital, everyone's going to be busy with its own clique anyway, but others say it is important, because you'll going to have more opportunities and you're going to develop social skills if you do it ( in some field, such as Psychiatry, social skills are really important ).

I'm getting along well with everyone in Med school, but I don't hang out with them outside of school. The reason is not that I wouldn't be invited, but I always have better things to do and by better, I mean activities that don't involve a lot of small-talk. Because the majority of the people in Med school go out in clubs, or go to concerts, or go shopping, or go to see a movie, but it all comes down to the same thing : making small-talk, and I'm not skilled at small-talk.

Maybe it's a deficiency and I should improve it while I'm in Med school, but I simply love to spend my free time by going to the gym or swimming, or having intellectual talks with a very few close friends, or reading exciting books.
I really like my classmates, there's nothing wrong with them, and many of them like me also, but I think that I couldn't manage to make more small talk with them than I already do in Med school and I know that for me it's dreading to make small-talk, while for them it would be dreading to talk about things that I like to talk about ( things that I could talk with people in their 40s and 50s ).

Thanks for your time !

Slytherin... Name checks out.

 

[68PGunner]

So what ? That professor is truly great, I don't care about the gag reflex joke, he's truly impressive for every student and I'm not the only one who goes to his lab to see how he's presenting the lesson

So after testing, how weak is your CN IX?

 

[Slytheryn]

So after testing, how weak is your CN IX?

As I've already mentioned, I don't care about the jokes. Especially not from someone who is a " Gunner ".
You can't prove that you're funny to your friends so you come here on the forum to do it ? That's awesome, dude

 

[68PGunner]

As I've already mentioned, I don't care about the jokes. Especially not from someone who is a " Gunner ".
You can't prove that you're funny to your friends so you come here on the forum to do it ? That's awesome, dude

Weak CN IX confirmed. That's a good thing, bro. You will suck your way to success.

 

[Slytheryn]

Weak CN IX confirmed. That's a good thing, bro. You will suck your way to success.

Unfortunately bro, I cannot offer you advice about CN IX, although I'm sure you have problems with it if you keep asking about it so vehemently