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Posted for a member
I know this question is somewhat similar to many in this forum, but may have a few aspects that are a little different.
I'm in the middle of the second year of medical school. It's very questionable as to whether I will actually pass this section of the curriculum. I've never really had problems like this before, but somehow spent about a month doing almost nothing. I won't say exactly what happened (immediately identifiable), but a huge number of things that led to a rather astronomical amount of stress (friends wondered how I was handling it at all and still looking normal). Let's just say this ended up with me spending most of the time staring at a wall doing nothing but trying to figure out why I felt horrible and didn't feel like doing anything except staring at the wall. Basically, a fairly textbook description of major depression, even though a rather incompetent psyc resident at the school counseling center didn't figure it out (I could look pretty competent if I tried). I managed to keep on top of class work enough for no one to notice (barely) - but not enough to learn any of the material. Generally, felt awful with no motivation to do anything at all for at least six weeks or so. Completely unlike me.
I ended up in the ER after collapsing soon after that. No diagnosis besides dehydration (makes sense, probably hadn't been eating or drinking anything). Somehow, this woke me up. Spent the next couple of weeks trying to put my life back together with a little help from a family doctor, my own degree in psychology, talking to everyone I could in the medical school (decided I didn't at all want to quit!), and I am feeling fine now (have been for a month or so). I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week or so from a referral from the family doc, I'm pretty sure we can prevent a repeat with some constant effort on my part. All that's on my medical record is maybe a generic mention of suspected major depression, no meds (going to stay that way), nothing else besides the referral to the psychiatrist, someone who usually deals talks to local medical students.
A lot of the faculty in the medical school now know something happened. I am getting constant questions about how I'm doing. I haven't told anyone, only a few even know about the ER visit. My grades will definitely not be good, maybe barely passing, probably not. I may have to retake a section of the curriculum but shouldn't have to take an official leave of absence or anything else. I've met some wonderful people in the medical school the last few weeks and would rather not just shrug and say I didn't study enough and will do better and retake the test when they ask. Having someone paying attention and making sure I'm still on the right track can't be bad, either. It's not an uncommon problem, and if it helps find someone else who's severely depressed, I'd be overjoyed.
I'm so sorry this is like a book! Now my question - will disclosing this information be troublesome later? I know this is unfortuneately generally recurring... Are there any issues with licensure that will come up down the road? Any problems with applying for residencies in a few (6) years? Will this be seen as an indication that I won't be able to handle the pressure of the second two years of medical school and then residency, I know relapse is very common? Are there any issues with recommendation letters (I'm not going to tell everyone I meet, but the dean of students was very helpful)? Would pulling myself out of this of my own and doing well afterward be looked at favorably, or would the tendency to depression overshadow that?
Thanks for the help!
