General Professor getting cold feet about a letter of rec?

[Question]

Hello, I wanted some advice from experts. I am thinking about posting on the main subs as well to get some advice from peers but I don't exactly want to ask my advisor or other professors this question: what do I do if a professor I am close to and made a letter of rec for me is suddenly getting cold feet? Basically, I have had a really great relationship with this professor, did research with him, presented at conferences, but I wasn't able to publish my work by the time I graduated. I was even offered to be a mentor for his classes twice (including an upper level one)! It didn't happen because my schedule never lined up. I thought I had a really good relationship with this prof, and he wrote me a letter of rec for another project and I specifically asked if he would write a med school rec and he was happy to. We even met about it! Well now I'm under the assumption he never wrote it, and I am emailing him about my committee letter and my personal letter. He is only answering questions about my committee letter and absolutely none about the letter he agreed to write for med school. What should I do? Nothing negative has happened between us, so I don't know what is going on. He refuses to answer my emails/questions about it. Thank you!

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[SurfingDoctor]

Well, sometimes people are busy and frankly, when I have to write a LOR, it goes generally to the bottom of my "To Do" pile. So it could just be that... But maybe something is up.

Do you want to call his bluff? Draft the letter yourself. Embellish, say all the great things you've done, how amazing you are, how you are the bees knees, etc.

Then, email him with the letter attached and say something like "Dear Professor X. You may remember us discussing you potentially writing a letter of recommendation for me for my application. I realize that you are very busy, so I though I would help draft a letter for you discussing how great of a mentor you were and all the amazing things you helped me accomplished. Please edit as you see fit. Thanks so much for all your help through the year. Signed, You." Then... wait. If they really were busy and do want to write you a letter, then you'll get a reply "This is fantastic. Thanks for doing this. I'll edit it and get it back to you", and you're golden. If you get ghosted... probably better to look elsewhere.

 

[SurfingDoctor]

I personally I don't think its a confrontational approach because the reality is, many people draft their own letters and have the signers essentially be a rubber stamp. In my career, I have drafted a good number of letters for myself only to get just a signature from people. In fact, in some progress report letters to the NIH, I didn't even send it to the signer, I just used a digital signature and sent it on (don't do that BTW). So that's all to say, its not really that uncommon and some people prefer if you draft them a letter.

But of course, others may disagree.

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

I would keep asking. Also, if you have any thought they may not write you a good letter I would bail.

 

[GoSpursGo]

I also suggest drafting a letter

 

[PerioDont]

Well, sometimes people are busy and frankly, when I have to write a LOR, it goes generally to the bottom of my "To Do" pile. So it could just be that... But maybe something is up.

Do you want to call his bluff? Draft the letter yourself. Embellish, say all the great things you've done, how amazing you are, how you are the bees knees, etc.

Then, email him with the letter attached and say something like "Dear Professor X. You may remember us discussing you potentially writing a letter of recommendation for me for my application. I realize that you are very busy, so I though I would help draft a letter for you discussing how great of a mentor you were and all the amazing things you helped me accomplished. Please edit as you see fit. Thanks so much for all your help through the year. Signed, You." Then... wait. If they really were busy and do want to write you a letter, then you'll get a reply "This is fantastic. Thanks for doing this. I'll edit it and get it back to you", and you're golden. If you get ghosted... probably better to look elsewhere.

I did this exact thing with my ochm Professor. Similar situation to yours, I think he was just busy though as all professors can be.

A few minutes later I suddenly got a notification that my letter of recommendation has been uploaded…

 

[Dral]

If you are apprehensive about drafting the letter now, but plan to ask them again, then the next time you ask, include the part about drafting the letter yourself to see if it gets a response.

If you still hear nothing, you can still draft the letter and just say you mentioned it in your last message, didn't hear back, so just took the initiative to do it.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

You can draft a letter. You can probably draft an outline that could become a letter. Highlight what you know your reference has observed about you when it comes to key characteristics or the AAMC entering competencies. Sometimes the problem is the effort to start writing a letter, and many faculty get bombarded with requests, especially if they teach a sizeable number of prehealth/premed students.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Unless you are a faculty member, you never know what's on the plate of any professor, so he is probably not ignoring you on purpose. I would still have back-ups anyway, though how you make the case... that depends on how much you feel the professor knows you as a student or as potential health care professional student (there is an AAMC publication on writing letters of evaluation/recommendation that you should read and share with your references): https://www.aamc.org/system/files?file=2019-09/lettersguidelinesbrochure.pdf .

 

[singasongofjoy]

Lots of good advice above and I’ll reiterate the points that resonated best with me- maybe they are simply overwhelmed. Or maybe they’re not sure they’re the best option for letter writer for various reasons. Either way make response as painless as possible. Draft an email that says you can’t see anywhere that the letter they agreed to in (month) has been completed so you just want to follow up - and that you understand many factors may be at play. Something to the effect of “in case unexpected demands on your time are a factor, I’ve drafted a letter that may be easily revised- and I also understand there may be other considerations or you may have advise on how to proceed if someone else may be a more suitable choice for a positive letter or you have feedback about my performance / application for this position. Either way I welcome your expertise on this matter” - I feel like something to that effect sounds really nonjudgmental and a reply of any sort to be “low-hanging fruit”- so I would move on if no reply in a week. Others may disagree, just my thoughts

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

The letter drafting is awkward at times, but if you don't have a better option then you gotta do it,