Parents arguing during a well visit.

[Goneril]

Today at 1 yo well visit, mom and dad kinda got into a fight. Nothing major but I saw mom rolling her eyes when Dad asked questions about the shape of the child’s head. She also suppressed an eye roll when he asked about frequent falls in a child that just learned how to walk. Anyhow it all came to a head when I was examining the child and she started to cry. Dad was reaching out for her and Mom slapped his hand and glared hard at him. It was awkward. At previous visits I’ve sensed some tensions. I’m just curious how you would handle this situation.
I pretended to not see the slap but I did drop a line about “Mom and Dad being on the same page” in regards to things like sleep-training etc.

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[deleted480308]

Today at 1 yo well visit, mom and dad kinda got into a fight. Nothing major but I saw mom rolling her eyes when Dad asked questions about the shape of the child’s head. She also suppressed an eye roll when he asked about frequent falls in a child that just learned how to walk. Anyhow it all came to a head when I was examining the child and she started to cry. Dad was reaching out for her and Mom slapped his hand and glared hard at him. It was awkward. At previous visits I’ve sensed some tensions. I’m just curious how you would handle this situation.
I pretended to not see the slap but I did drop a line about “Mom and Dad being on the same page” in regards to things like sleep-training etc.

Confrontation is awkward. But would you have let him slap her and stayed quiet?

I might more direct than most but I address that stuff. “We’re all here for x because we all care about them, so let’s focus on that issue which we all agree on”. “We need to table the other disagreements in life for the next 20min to get through this appt”. “It might be helpful to your child if we get a therapist involved to talk through some communication tachniques”

but physical stuff? “That’s not something that can continue. Do we need to separate for everyone to stay safe or can we all keep our hands to ourselves?” (Yes I have done that) any sign of aggression to me or continuing becomes “sorry, we’re gonna pause I’ll be right back” *leaves immediately without waiting for response,does not come back until security is there

 

[FrkyBgStok]

that sounds like a relationship destined for divorce.

 

[Goneril]

Confrontation is awkward. But would you have let him slap her and stayed quiet?

I might more direct than most but I address that stuff. “We’re all here for x because we all care about them, so let’s focus on that issue which we all agree on”. “We need to table the other disagreements in life for the next 20min to get through this appt”. “It might be helpful to your child if we get a therapist involved to talk through some communication tachniques”

but physical stuff? “That’s not something that can continue. Do we need to separate for everyone to stay safe or can we all keep our hands to ourselves?” (Yes I have done that) any sign of aggression to me or continuing becomes “sorry, we’re gonna pause I’ll be right back” *leaves immediately without waiting for response,does not come back until security is there

It was awkward. And now I’m going to make excuses for their behavior. COVID has obviously increased this family’s anxiety levels. They missed two well visits because of the pandemic. The child had a few seizure like episodes during this time. She’s had a EEG (normal). They’re new parents and seem a bit overwhelmed by the baby. Fortunately the baby is doing well.
Anyhow I think if it was the father acting up with the mother, I think I might have done something closer to what you’re suggesting.

 

[sella.turcica]

*leaves immediately without waiting for response,does not come back until security is there

This sounds a lot like Answer E on a Step 1 question... lol

 

[mvenus929]

I mean, we had a "no hit zone" in residency, that specifically stated no hitting from anyone, including siblings hitting each other. I would've fallen back on that if parents were hitting each other. If it escalated beyond that, then I'd be leaving the room and getting security.