Parenting and Medical School

[BruceMayne11]

Hello,

I will be starting my first year of medical school next year and my wife and I are expecting our first child in the next 2-3 weeks. I was wondering for those that have been parents while in Medical school, any tips/recommendations you wish you knew while you were in school? My wife is hoping to work remote from home when we move to KC for my schooling. Looking for anything from daycare advice to relationship tips while juggling all of the chaos.

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[DOVinciRobot]

Make a schedule and stick to it.

 

[VaultArmitage]

My kid was 3 months old when I started M1. I’ll be blunt that it’s going to be a lot harder on you than your classmates but it is so worth it. You’ll be working with a lot less free time than them so the name of the game is efficient studying. IMO, the most efficient study method is Anki because I don’t really have to plan out my reviews, the software handles it all for me. My classmates that attend lecture in person, hand write lots of notes, go to all non mandatory lectures, etc. all score much higher than me on tests but I only study 4-5 hours a day while they’re generally studying 8-10 hours. Those 4-5 hours I can back are all time I can spend building my relationship with my kid. We’re a P/F curriculum so I just aim to comfortably pass.

I tried to prioritize being at home (watching lecture recordings), not attending class in person, scheduling my study time while the kid slept, etc.

DM me if you want anything super specific, but my final advice is to enjoy the ride. Being a medical student is awesome and so is being a parent!

 

[WhereMyLiberalsAt]

Got three kids under five and in my fourth year…

I think an important skill to have (this goes for people without kids) is to acknowledge and identify that not all “time” is created equal. Some people are mentally sharp first thing in the AM and some people are zombies for the first several hours.

Furthermore, not all task are created equal. Identify what task requires mental sharpness (complex thinking, synthesis of new ideas, Qbanks), simple data retrieval (think sketchy), tired but can hold a conversation if you aren’t going to quizzed on it (talking to your spouse) or brain dead level thinking (changing a diaper).

If you’re changing diapers during peak brain power, talking to your wife while you’re brain dead, and doing Anki while you’re tired… You’re doing it wrong. Additionally, identify what constitutes “being loved” by your wife. Is a good conversation? Watching her favorite show with her? You doing her least favorite chore? Foot rub? Like whatever. You need the best bang for your buck with time.

In my opinion too many people only identify “time is currency” but fail to acknowledge that some tasks literally require more brainpower currency. Watching your baby drool and poop takes zero currency. Making sure their head doesn’t go under the water while bathing at 3m old, zero currency. Playing with bath toys when they’re two, like one penny of currency. Teaching them to ride a bike, more currency. Teaching your four year old how to follow a Lego instruction manual, surprisingly a lot of brain currency. Like a metric **** ton of brain currency!

MS1 will require almost no brain processing currency baby wise. Work hard and build a very strong foundation. That will be your savings account. Budget for currency inflation and make sure you aren’t taking a loan out during MS2/3…

 

[lanzhou_lamian]

Got three kids under five and in my fourth year…

I think an important skill to have (this goes for people without kids) is to acknowledge and identify that not all “time” is created equal. Some people are mentally sharp first thing in the AM and some people are zombies for the first several hours.

Furthermore, not all task are created equal. Identify what task requires mental sharpness (complex thinking, synthesis of new ideas, Qbanks), simple data retrieval (think sketchy), tired but can hold a conversation if you aren’t going to quizzed on it (talking to your spouse) or brain dead level thinking (changing a diaper).

If you’re changing diapers during peak brain power, talking to your wife while you’re brain dead, and doing Anki while you’re tired… You’re doing it wrong. Additionally, identify what constitutes “being loved” by your wife. Is a good conversation? Watching her favorite show with her? You doing her least favorite chore? Foot rub? Like whatever. You need the best bang for your buck with time.

In my opinion too many people only identify “time is currency” but fail to acknowledge that some tasks literally require more brainpower currency. Watching your baby drool and poop takes zero currency. Making sure their head doesn’t go under the water while bathing at 3m old, zero currency. Playing with bath toys when they’re two, like one penny of currency. Teaching them to ride a bike, more currency. Teaching your four year old how to follow a Lego instruction manual, surprisingly a lot of brain currency. Like a metric **** ton of brain currency!

MS1 will require almost no brain processing currency baby wise. Work hard and build a very strong foundation. That will be your savings account. Budget for currency inflation and make sure you aren’t taking a loan out during MS2/3…

This is some of the best advice I’ve seen regarding balancing personal relationships with a challenging profession.