Medicine vs. Family

[Zsan]

Hi all,

I am a 29 year old Engineer on a business track and looking for a career change because I feel business is the most soul sucking profession you can enter (sorry, don't mean to offend anyone). In any event, I am strongly considering applying to medical school, however the thought of graduating from a residency program at the age of 40 is slightly daunting. Daunting to me because having a family and raising children are the most important things to me. I know that if I stay in my current career, my lack of passion for the field will get me no where fast. I strongly believe that I can be happy with a career in medicine however will I be sacrificing the possibility of getting married and starting a family? I will be a poor male during my entire 30's. How will I be able to support a wife and kids? Do I do what is best for myself career wise and give up on having a family or do I stick it out in a career that I do not enjoy to support the possibility of having a family (this may not even happen). Is this really an all or nothing decision? Anyone out there been able to find a way to balance the two?

Thanks for your comments,
Zsan

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[Sol Rosenberg]

Hi all,

I am a 29 year old Engineer on a business track and looking for a career change because I feel business is the most soul sucking profession you can enter (sorry, don't mean to offend anyone). In any event, I am strongly considering applying to medical school, however the thought of graduating from a residency program at the age of 40 is slightly daunting. Daunting to me because having a family and raising children are the most important things to me. I know that if I stay in my current career, my lack of passion for the field will get me no where fast. I strongly believe that I can be happy with a career in medicine however will I be sacrificing the possibility of getting married and starting a family? I will be a poor male during my entire 30's. How will I be able to support a wife and kids? Do I do what is best for myself career wise and give up on having a family or do I stick it out in a career that I do not enjoy to support the possibility of having a family (this may not even happen). Is this really an all or nothing decision? Anyone out there been able to find a way to balance the two?

Thanks for your comments,
Zsan

Zsan,

I'm not sure where you got the idea that thiks is an all or nothing decision. Pursuing a career in medicine is not easy (the sad truth is that nothing worthwhile is easy) but if you want to have both a medical school education and a family, you will find a way.

I am in a very similar situation to you -- I am a 31 year old engineer, and I can't stand engineering any more (I have used some of the same words, like "sucks the life out," or "eats at your soul" to describe engineering work.) I'm married, and have a son (with plans to have more children,) and I'm glad that I have been saving > 50% of my income for the past years. Therefore, I was able to put together what I hope is a reasonable financial plan that will get us through medical school. Quitting one's high-paying job to spend at least 7 years in school and residency is difficult, to be sure, but I KNOW that this is what I want to do, and I am willing to make whatever sacrifices that I need to make.

That being said, and I don't want to sound corney, but I am sure that there is a "right" person out there for you that will stick with you, a future poor student, through medical school. I'm sure that you have more to offer someone than just money, and someone will see that. Supporting a child is not cheap, but it is not immensely expensive, either. There are lots of avenues for helping people with children, should that be your choice to have them. I'm sure that is seems scary, but like I said, if you want to both pursue your MD, and have a family, you will find a way to make it happen.

Good Luck,

Jota

 

[blee]

I was an IT consultant for five years before I quit to work on my GPA and prepare for the MCAT. I'll be starting med school this fall and turning 29 in December.

I thought long and hard (in fact, for much of those five years) about the effect that a time-intensive career like medicine might have on my family life. While consultants end up putting in long hours as they climb up the ladder, physicians are typically far more committed to their work; they can't walk away from their patients to take a last-minute vacation, they may not be able to schedule appointments around the holidays, and so on.

In the end, though, I had to define what a "family friendly career" meant to me. If it meant that I would work 50-60 hours a week, driving an hour each way to and from a job I hate, then coming home and doing my best not to throw my negativity around my wife and kids, just what kind of example would that set? I would be a surly employee, a surly father, and an overall unpleasant human being. That doesn't sound like a good choice. On the other hand, putting in similar (or worse) hours at a job I love would allow me to come home refreshed and happy -- tired, perhaps, but also excited about my day and excited about coming home to see my family. That seems a lot better than spending more time at home in a worse mood.

 

[mshheaddoc]

Ok I'll be frank.

How do you know that you want this? Do you have the prereqs done? If not ... start them part-time if you can. I'm going to guess with an engineer degree you might already have them but if you don't feel solid in your MCAT studies, wouldn't hurt to retake them at a local university/community college.

Really examine why you want medicine. The reason why I say that is because it is long and hard. Shadow, volunteer, talk to all types of health professionals. Maybe as an engineer you would prefer to do something on the clinical side of medicine? Analytical skills at their best. There are many things you can do while not getting into med school but it depends on what YOU want to do. Do you research.

As for the family, it will happen when you least expect it, just like life. And just think, put it this way, how would it have happened when you were working at your other job? It still would have. Life doesn't stop for medical school.

 

[NonTradMed]

I am younger than you but I also walked off the engineering track a couple of years back and will attend med school this fall.

Personally, I don't think you have to worry about starting a family. Is med school time consuming? Yeah, probably. Can you have a girlfriend during that time? Yes, definitely. It's no more time consuming than any time intensive academic program many other people's been in. Yes, you may need to delay children until graduation when you can start making a bit of money,but that doesn't mean you have to live as a monk. Plenty of med students marry during school and have children thereafter.

Also, your spouse can work while you attend school. You don't *need* to support her, she can support you while you are getting your degree. As a girl, I don't expect to be supported by my husband when I get married, and if my husband is younger than me and in med school, I'd be more than happy to support him. As for kids, just make sure to plan the children and space them out. I think you'll be surprised by how many men and women have kids before finishing residency.

 

[Zsan]

Ok I'll be frank.

How do you know that you want this? Do you have the prereqs done? If not ... start them part-time if you can. I'm going to guess with an engineer degree you might already have them but if you don't feel solid in your MCAT studies, wouldn't hurt to retake them at a local university/community college.

Really examine why you want medicine. The reason why I say that is because it is long and hard. Shadow, volunteer, talk to all types of health professionals. Maybe as an engineer you would prefer to do something on the clinical side of medicine? Analytical skills at their best. There are many things you can do while not getting into med school but it depends on what YOU want to do. Do you research.

As for the family, it will happen when you least expect it, just like life. And just think, put it this way, how would it have happened when you were working at your other job? It still would have. Life doesn't stop for medical school.

Thanks for your response. To answer your question of how do I know if I want this, I've been mulling over this for years and based on my personality traits, I think that I would enjoy a career in medicine. I've had a lot of experience with med students, I helped my ex through 3 years of it and have a lot of close friends go through it. I can't say for sure that this is the career for me and that's why I haven't done anything over the past 5 years. I think you reach a point where you have to get off the fence and take that leap of faith. I'm not sure I will ever know if this is the right career for me until I try.

This being said, are there any alternate paths that one could pursue within medicine without becoming a physician that would match my technical backgorund. You mentioned clinical side of medicine. Would you be able to give me some details on this? I thought about research but what level of formalized education do you need to get involved in this?

Thanks

 

[net]

Hi Zsan,
just want to let you know there are lots of opportunities to do research after med school, and also you can combine clinical practice with research together if you want. i currently work with several faculty members from VUMC and as far as i know one of them has MS in EE. they all work at the hospital and also do their own research projects.

 

[Maurizio]

Thanks for your response. To answer your question of how do I know if I want this, I've been mulling over this for years and based on my personality traits, I think that I would enjoy a career in medicine. I've had a lot of experience with med students, I helped my ex through 3 years of it and have a lot of close friends go through it. I can't say for sure that this is the career for me and that's why I haven't done anything over the past 5 years. I think you reach a point where you have to get off the fence and take that leap of faith. I'm not sure I will ever know if this is the right career for me until I try.

This being said, are there any alternate paths that one could pursue within medicine without becoming a physician that would match my technical backgorund. You mentioned clinical side of medicine. Would you be able to give me some details on this? I thought about research but what level of formalized education do you need to get involved in this?

Thanks

Are you asking if there if there are other things you can do within medicine without going to med school? If that is what your asking you could always get into biomedical engineering. You can do a masters degree and then a Ph.D. if you want. That would take a total of 6-8 yrs, and many grad students get research funding while they're in school. So you would get out with little savings, but no debt (well before your 40).