MD Couples Matching Across Institutions

[bigmoneyhomie23]

Hi all, I'm currently choosing between several options for medical school and I wanted to get some input/advice on this situation.

My fiance and I were lucky enough to both be admitted at a top 20 program (based on US News). However, I was also admitted at several top 10 institutions that offered me significant amounts of merit scholarships, and moreover I just felt a better overall fit at those programs. For these reasons, I am considering matriculating at one of these programs, without her. We are both open to this potential 4 year period of separation but intend to match together through the couples match program.

I've heard that you can couples match across institutions, but will it be significantly harder to do so compared to if you were at the same program? Additionally, I made a note to mention the prestige difference above - will that impact our ability to match together? There are some geographical differences as well - the program she'd matriculate at is in the Midwest, while the programs I'm choosing are either Northeast or out West. Will this further complicate our ability to match together?

Thank you so much for your input.

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[gcuddles]

Without being able to speak about the differences in couples-matching from different schools, I can say that I don't think the difference in your school's ranks is going to have a lot of influence on your match. Top 20 institutions are fantastic, top 10 are even better, but your Step 1 score and overall grades matter way more. AAMC has a resource called "Roadmap to Residency" that outlines some of the details of the process and has some info on couples match.

 

[speedyxx626]

Hi all, I'm currently choosing between several options for medical school and I wanted to get some input/advice on this situation.

My fiance and I were lucky enough to both be admitted at a top 20 program (based on US News). However, I was also admitted at several top 10 institutions that offered me significant amounts of merit scholarships, and moreover I just felt a better overall fit at those programs. For these reasons, I am considering matriculating at one of these programs, without her. We are both open to this potential 4 year period of separation but intend to match together through the couples match program.

I've heard that you can couples match across institutions, but will it be significantly harder to do so compared to if you were at the same program? Additionally, I made a note to mention the prestige difference above - will that impact our ability to match together? There are some geographical differences as well - the program she'd matriculate at is in the Midwest, while the programs I'm choosing are either Northeast or out West. Will this further complicate our ability to match together?

Thank you so much for your input.

I've gotta say I'm kind of confused. You'd really take 4 years away from your fiancee/spouse for a program that's a few rankings higher even though they're both "top 20"? I've gotta say that's pretty ridiculous. I'm not one to judge, but you have to ask yourself what's more important to you, your marriage or going to a program a few rankings higher?

Only reason I'm being so harsh is because 4 years of being apart during med school will definitely put a huge strain on your relationship. Don't forget that having your significant other with you can be a huge positive if you're supportive of each other. Plus, the difference in prestige between those programs won't matter nearly as much (or at all) compared to how well you score on your Step exams and your rec letters.

Now if you were talking about a low tier program vs Harvard that would be a different story...

 

[KinesiologyNerd]

I've heard that you can couples match across institutions, but will it be significantly harder to do so compared to if you were at the same program? Additionally, I made a note to mention the prestige difference above - will that impact our ability to match together? There are some geographical differences as well - the program she'd matriculate at is in the Midwest, while the programs I'm choosing are either Northeast or out West. Will this further complicate our ability to match together?

The answer to all of your questions is no. The only reason it would be harder is because you won't be able to have necessary hard conversations and planning sessions face to face. Watch the videos about how the couples match works on the NRMP website. I think a lot of people are confused exactly what couples matching is and isn't.

Personally I coupled with my SO at my institution, but we had at least two classmates who matched with someone at another institution (one a DO student).

 

[Mr Roboto]

Lol seriously bro? You would spend 4 years apart because you got into a "top ten program" (whatever the **** that means) and she only got into a "top twenty program"?

If I were her, I'd dump your ass in a hot minute.

 

[bigmoneyhomie23]

Appreciate the feedback, everyone. I'd say the main factor driving my decision to matriculate at a separate institution is because I received a full scholarship there.

 

[Mr Roboto]

Appreciate the feedback, everyone. I'd say the main factor driving my decision to matriculate at a separate institution is because I received a full scholarship there.

Ask her's to counter?

 

[mw18]

It would probably be slightly easier to couples match if you went to the same school because you'd have the same home institution bias. The difference in levels of your school don't really matter, but say she was a worse applicant than you. Then you'd go the best place she matched because it's a lowest common denominator type of situation. This is all kind of insane though because different institutions have different residency strengths and weaknesses.

I'm usually not one to judge people who go to the dream school despite reasons not to. And I understand you following the money. But if I can give you some unsolicited advice it's this: go to the full-ride school if you'd resent her more if you picked to go with her and broke up, and go with her if you'd resent picking that school more if it meant you broke up. Because med school is a pressure cooker. It's hard when my wife is out of town because I'm so busy sometimes and she's not even a med student. Hell, it's hard when she is in town. I know med students that make it work across distance, but that was because they didn't have a choice. But find out what would be worse, her ruining that school for you or you ruining your relationship for that school.

 

[catastic]

My husband and I successfully couples matched across institutions last year. He was at a top 10 program and I was at a solidly middle tier school on opposite coasts of the country, and we both matched our top choice at the same institution.

I don't think being at two different schools had any negative impact on our ability to couples match. I think the content of our applications (scores, grades, letters) were much more important. He would say that he was an average student at his school, and I would say I was near the top at mine, which helped even us out. We matched IM/General Surgery, which are not very competitive specialties, but our respective programs are. I also did some away rotations at our geographic location of preference, and subsequently matched at one of those programs.

If you two are open to doing long distance and are honest with each other about the difficulties that comes with that situation, I think that having one of the two of you not needing to pay tuition is a very good financial decision. Obviously you two know each other the best, so don't bother listening to these others try to give advice about your own relationship. Fit at a program is also important. While I definitely could have used the support and presence of my husband (then boyfriend) during med school, we were both so busy all the time that it didn't really bother us over all. Of course this was our own personal experience and might not reflect the same on others.

In any case, you can get great advice about couples matching and long distance relationships from other threads but as far as your question goes, in my experience, no, we had no problems couples matching across two institutions that were very separate in both distance and reputation. And we're very happy to be at great programs in the same place finally! Let me know if you have any other questions or you can PM me separately.

 

[OnePunchBiopsy]

As a medical student from a (seriously) bottom tier school who just matched at a top 5 residency program (okay humble brag) let me just say you can make the most out of your school no matter where you go. Your step scores, LOR, and political connections are still a major factor in determining where you do your residency.

You can make the most out of any school. You can't make a fiancé out of most women.