For context I work in an autism clinic, do mostly diagnostics with a focus on adolescents and adults. I’ve been riding the whole “neurodiverse spectrum” conversation for a while and focusing on the “labels are constructing and lead ppl to have stereotypes about you, for better or worse, so like let’s focus on self-insight to know what is actually true for you and table the discussion of labels for after.”
…almost everything we see ppl coming into the clinic for can be thought of as the tail end of a characteristic that exists along a normal curve in the juman population and, in certain circumstances, can be adaptive or a totally “normal” human experience / response to certain set of circumstances. There are infinite number of planes/variables you could consider a person on and we all have some outliers, personal tendencies more toward the outer edges of the curve. Often these characteristics can be a double edged sword (In the folks I’m having this type of conversation with anyway- not talking about severe impairment). It’s a personal decision in life whether to pursue insight into what those profiles of differences are in ourselves and then what to do with that knowledge. Will we wield that sword skillfully or blunder about for years? Are we going to focus on figuring out how to use our strengths to support those areas that don’t come as naturally to us (which is effortful, yes, but can ultimately be rewarding to a life changing degree as it often also leads to more acceptance / tolerance of differences In self and others) and potentially turn them into strengths if we learn to support and direct them skillfully? Or use them as excuses and never actually become more skilled ourselves?
The utility of a label is what it gives you access to - more targeted direction for seeking resources/self-understanding, ideas, skill development, insurance to help pay for some of those things, perhaps after you develop some degree of insight then the supports you need to continue growing (school or ADA accommodations and whatnot)
that allow you to continue growing/functioning in other areas. Ok client so you are describing you have a tendency toward experiencing ____ (Big Emotions, impulsivity, have a learning disorder, disassociate easily, have poor implicit learning but great explicit learning as in ASD, “sticky” attention on interests or worries, whatever)? Ok, maybe that’s dysfunctional right now. AND if willing to put on the work then we can work toward figuring out how to control that when needed, put supports or environmental or habit changes in place to manage that difference more skillfully and then the flip side is that is also correlated with (insert positive trait supported by research or evolutionary psych or something).
With clients I generally avoid using myself as an example but bear with me, I do have a point
As someone with adhd that didnt get diagnosed until well into adulthood (despite, I learned as an adult, several recommendations to evaluate- my mom’s response to my sharing the diagnosis was “yeah, we kinda knew that” which took me a while to grapple with) … that context I think makes the double edged sword analogy pretty relatable to me. Sticky attention as a kid- on Interests, worries, that annoying flicker in that one light in the back of Ms Frick’s class, daydreams- oof. So much negative downstream effects internally and externally. As an adult with insight, supports in place and good habits / strategies, in the right environment - it’s totally valid to call that an asset most of the time- and it has room to be because the rest of life isn’t so damn hard and effortful now after a lot of work). I think everyone has aspects they can reflect on and come to a similar conclusion of a trait that can go either way and thus talk about these points genuinely.
So between clients and having this conversation with colleagues I’ve got a pretty big bucket of those “double edged sword” examples built up by now — as well as counter examples of whatever a client might tell me when I ask “what does that label mean to you” to point out they risk getting themselves sucked into stereotypes by clinging to certain terminology (rather than developing insight first and then using it strategically when warranted- that then limits self understanding and room for growth.
Pointing that out sometimes leads to some lightbulb moments. One of my favorite counterexamples I’ve used recently is a person in my support group for adults on the autism spectrum. This person is in their 60s, has a great deal of social interaction in supervisory and pastoral-esque roles inherent in their jobs, and though there are rare missteps in novel situations I honestly think this person could easily be a more skilled therapist than me and I would bet money is a better supervisor than me BECAUSE OF the self insight, outrageously complex (to me) “if/then” flowcharts in her mind around managing stressful or wel-delineated social interactions - and because they know social can be a relative weakness they are far more thoughtful than average.
But if they had written off those types of things as “I’m not good at that” or with an external locus of control rather than deciding to at least explore the possibilities of things being different by putting in the effort of learning, being thoughtful, being a good proactive self-advocate and strategic discloser (of differences, not diagnoses), apologizing genuinely for missteps with a growth mindset, and maintaining good general self care (which is v unique for them), they’d never be anywhere near where they are now (very successful, one job is high ranking federal and definitely making way more than I’ll ever dream of making, and having true, very genuine and deep relationships of various types). Good thing they didn’t initially stereotype themselves out of getting to the life they have now. Would hate for whatever client is in front of me to do the same.
Sorry so long - obviously been thinking about this general topic a lot, especially lately
hopefully a thought-sparking point or two in there for someone else out there!
