Any Wives And Moms Med Students Here....

[tiredmom]

he does laundry and vacuums - decorated all by himself for Christmas (and did all the shopping and wrapping). Makes me coffee in the mornings and delivers it to me upstairs while I'm in the shower. And he works full-time.

I must disagree. I don't think women are expected to do all the holiday decorating, shopping, wrapping or delivery of coffee. She's giving examples of how he's participating and being considerate. That's not all that common - most of my friends have asked if my husband has a brother because he is so much more helpful and considerate than their husbands! My husband is much more involved with our kids than my dad ever was with us, and I had a pretty good dad! I consider myself blessed and lucky to have my husband - because I don't know that I could have made it through med school (counting down the weeks now til match then graduation) with a husband that was like my dad (not that he would be detrimental - he just wouldn't have thought about it to help out around the house or with the kids, it's never made it on his radar). Don't diss someone for considering that everything we do for a relationship is effort and that both of us should be appreciated for what we put into the relationship.

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[drmom2007]

my husband does it all. I have an eighth month old. My husband cooks, cleans, works a full time job, and still spends tons of time with our daughter. I on the other hand feel that I have no time to spare sometimes. I come home from school and fall asleep. Starting residency next year is only going to make things worse. Any suggestions on managing my time better and showing my husband I appreciate everything he does for me.

 

[dpmd]

I wasn't dissing her. I was in a little bit of a mood from reading the crap on the "why do women want a career" thread. It showed that plenty of people expect the husband to have a minimal role in household duties. I appreciate what my husband does for me, just as he appreciates what I do for him. I just hate how sometimes guys get congratulated for putting their clothes in the hamper and washing a few dishes, like its some huge accomplishment, when a woman doing all of that and more is treated like she was just doing her job. Why is participating and being considerate not that common, as you pointed out?

 

[tiredmom]

I wasn't dissing her. I was in a little bit of a mood from reading the crap on the "why do women want a career" thread. It showed that plenty of people expect the husband to have a minimal role in household duties. I appreciate what my husband does for me, just as he appreciates what I do for him. I just hate how sometimes guys get congratulated for putting their clothes in the hamper and washing a few dishes, like its some huge accomplishment, when a woman doing all of that and more is treated like she was just doing her job. Why is participating and being considerate not that common, as you pointed out?

Sorry, I was pretty grumpy too. I think its multifactoral. My husband and I are complete equals when it comes to all household activities, but we don't keep score, we just work together and if one is busy on the weekend, the other one does more/all of the work. His brother is the complete opposite, with his wife doing all the household stuff, all the cooking, all the kid stuff. He's an old school bum. So that blows the theory of how they were raised. But we've been that way from the get-go in the relationship. He's a gentleman - opens doors, frequent flowers, etc - and I think he's smart enough to know that being a gentleman also extends to sharing work around the house. Who knows... maybe my heavy hours working as a L&D nurse before med school trained him well, he or the kids wouldn't have eaten if he didn't cook some of the time. He'd even surprise me by have a warm bath and a cold margarita waiting for me sometimes when I'd get off in the morning if I'd had a few rough night shifts in a row. Some guys do it well, some guys try and fail, some refuse to try, and others... it just doesn't cross their minds.

 

[melissainsd]

I wasn't dissing her. I was in a little bit of a mood from reading the crap on the "why do women want a career" thread. It showed that plenty of people expect the husband to have a minimal role in household duties. I appreciate what my husband does for me, just as he appreciates what I do for him. I just hate how sometimes guys get congratulated for putting their clothes in the hamper and washing a few dishes, like its some huge accomplishment, when a woman doing all of that and more is treated like she was just doing her job. Why is participating and being considerate not that common, as you pointed out?

I totally know how you feel. My husband does a lot around the house, but when it comes to childcare I still do the lion's share. He points out that he does more than most dad's do (then I point out that most marriages end in divorce). He is trying a lot harder lately and has completely stopped complaining. I just get frustrated when I have to THANK him for doing his 50%.

 

[hilseb]

Wow. Love seeing the other moms here. I am 34, I have two boys, 8 and 2, and I am starting med school this fall.

My husband is mostly supportive too. He is a cleaner, which I love and am thankful for, but I still do most of the child care. I did get the "how will you balance your family" question and I think I handled it well. I have worked full time and been in midwifery school with two kids, so I think I can handle med school. It's something worth juggling for. I considered not mentioning my children at all in my apps or in my interview, but they are too important for me to treat them only as a liability.

 

[Doula-2-OB]

I'm a mom. I have an almost 10yo, a 6yo and a little one on the way, due in October. I'm still pre-med and I'm trying to just make this part work for my family. I'm taking a little time off and DH is going to get started on his education... I don't know what will happen, I don't have a real solid plan anymore now that I'm pregnant! I had it all mapped out before those two lines appeared but I wasn't disappointed to see them. *lol*

As far as how it will work- I'm doing as much close to home as I can and then Dh and will both at some point transfer to University of Washington to finish up our degrees (separately or at the same time- I don't know), we might need to move at that time. I feel right now like I just want to enjoy this time while I'm pregnant and get back to classes after the baby comes, if I can find a way to make it work for my family. By the time the baby is 2 or 3 my oldest will be old enough to do some babysitting (I just realized that!) so that's kind of exciting, to have that in-house help.

I'm also a doula and the on-call life of doula work is tough with a family but the commitments are rather short term in comparison- 6 weeks of 24 hour call (no time off until the baby comes!) and then you're done. If I can make that work for my family, I'm sure I can figure out this whole school thing!

 

[Jamaica4god]

It is soooo encouraging to see so many premed moms making it work! I too am beginning my premed. I'm a mother of 4. Three girls (ages 6,3,2) and a sweet baby boy (4 months). I'm also a nurse at a pediatric orthopedic surgical hospital fulltime. Not to mention the chef, maid, choufer, laundry service and personal psychiatrist that I am at home. LOL. I know ya'll know what I'm talking about!!!

Thankfully I have a great supportive husband, although not so far as the whole "bring me coffee in the shower" thing. LOL. He's great though. Everyone else that I've told about my aiming for med school has told me I was crazy scared , but he says go for it! I'm sure it's going to be a long haul, but I'm positive God will bring me out of it a better person.

Does anyone have any advice for the best way to pursue this? My plans are to take some of the core courses at the local CC (like english and math and humanities) and then transfer into a 4 year Biology major. Has anyone ever taken a route like this or know someone who has?? Unfortunately only a handful of my nursing degree requirements will transfer. Anywho, I would greatly appreciate some advice!

 

[melissainsd]

It is soooo encouraging to see so many premed moms making it work! I too am beginning my premed. I'm a mother of 4. Three girls (ages 6,3,2) and a sweet baby boy (4 months). I'm also a nurse at a pediatric orthopedic surgical hospital fulltime. Not to mention the chef, maid, choufer, laundry service and personal psychiatrist that I am at home. LOL. I know ya'll know what I'm talking about!!!

Thankfully I have a great supportive husband, although not so far as the whole "bring me coffee in the shower" thing. LOL. He's great though. Everyone else that I've told about my aiming for med school has told me I was crazy scared , but he says go for it! I'm sure it's going to be a long haul, but I'm positive God will bring me out of it a better person.

Does anyone have any advice for the best way to pursue this? My plans are to take some of the core courses at the local CC (like english and math and humanities) and then transfer into a 4 year Biology major. Has anyone ever taken a route like this or know someone who has?? Unfortunately only a handful of my nursing degree requirements will transfer. Anywho, I would greatly appreciate some advice!

I took the exact route you are contemplating. I took my math, english, and first semester physics, g-chem, bio, and o-chem at a CC. Most people suggest taking none of the med school pre-reqs at a CC, but if you get A's there and then continue to get A's in your upper division classes it isn't a problem. If you anticipate having difficulties then I would not take any physics, chem, or bio at a CC.

You can see my profile if you like, my CC classes didn't seem to hurt one bit. Good luck with everything and keep us posted on your progress.

 

[mshheaddoc]

The advice I would give about CC classes is they are fine if you are transferring to a 4-year institution for a degree. I know quite a few non-trads who even took all prereqs at CC's. These days CC's are being a valid option for those who might not be able to afford a 4 year education or there might not be one near by and really its not all that different educational wise. I actually preferred the CC classes I took in my post-bacc because they were smaller than my 250 lecture classes at the 4-year university. I got to know my professors and they got to know me. I'm sure some schools might look down on CC's but honestly those are the same schools that might look down if you're non-trad too in my opinion. Check out the schools you want to apply and see if they have issues with it. I've even asked a few schools if online classes are ok (like berkley extension, etc).

 

[Empi]

Thanks for bumping this thread.

I'm a premed going into my junior year.

I have eight children ranging in age from 28 to 8 years. My second child is a fourth year medical student.

I waited for my children to get older before I started as an undergrad. It can be stressful because I went from a SAHM to a fulltime student and people still assume I'm to do all the household work. They're changing albeit slowly. My dh is supportive, but I need him to step up more, it is still really helpful for me to have his moral support.

My daughter who is a med student is extremely supportive of my path and has actually prodded me into this a bit. Whenever I get discouraged or think about going to PA school, she's there with a lot of encouragement to go to med school instead (even giving me ideas about where to do my residency.)

 

[Jamaica4god]

Wow. I've finished my first two official classes in the direction of med school. Haha. Seems like such a small accomplishment in the big picture. I also just found out that our 6 month old son may have fused cranial sutures. His fontanels are closed, he has a ridge on the top from on side to the other, and his head has only grown 1/2 a centimeter in the last 2 months. Still need X-rays.

 

[mshheaddoc]

Congrats to finishing 2 classes. So sorry to hear about your child, I hope things turn out well.

 

[Empi]

I'll keep your little son in my prayers.

 

[TexasRose]

Just wanted to say hello.

I'm a 4th year med student, married, and mom of 3 kids ages 13, 10 & 10 yrs. I also happen to have one of the most supportive husbands in the universe. He's been my cheerleader through this whole process.

I just submitted my residency application today. Another piece of the adventure ahead!

 

[Jamaica4god]

Wow! Congrats to you! Where did u graduate from? And where are you doing your residency? I feel like I have an eternity to get to that point... Do you want to specialize in anything in particular?

 

[TexasRose]

Wow! Congrats to you! Where did u graduate from? And where are you doing your residency? I feel like I have an eternity to get to that point... Do you want to specialize in anything in particular?

Thx. I'm going into Peds, not sure about subspecializing yet.

How's your son?

 

[Jamaica4god]

Well. We saw a doctor last Thursday. She him, but we are still waiting for a CT of his head. She said she thinks the ridge on the top of his head is where the cranial bones are still overriding because his brain hasn't grown to fill it out. Microcephaly. Still waiting to see a different doc I know from work, and the CT to see one way or the other. If it is micro, without any fusion then we'll be working real hard to make sure he keeps developing. So far his development is mostly on track. A few things he lags in, and a few things he is ahead in, so I don't know what to say.
God has a purpose for him, and I've just given the whole situation to Him. I told the doc we saw last Thur, I would rather him need a surgery we can't pay for than for her to be telling me it's micro. I know some kids with micro develop with very little delays, but the only ones I've ever taken care of have been severly delayed, like a baby or toddler for the rest of their lives. His head stopped growing at 4 months, still no growth, so I don't know.

 

[Empi]

I'll keep praying for him. I'm glad to hear his development is on target.

 

[Jamaica4god]

I am just amazed at how resilient children are! I've been kind of posting about my son here and there. Well, we measured his head again, and there was small growth, not as much as prefered, but enough for my husband and I to jump for joy! He is doing marvelously! He's gaining weight, crawling, walking along the couch, and he grew from a 0-3 month size to a 6-9 month size in a month and a half! Skipped 3-6 months all together! There are still a few concerns. He postures with his left upper extremity, and he uses the left foot to push off the floor when he crawls, and those in combination with decreased reflexes in his left leg and very small head growth has made his dr want to get an MRI of his brain to check for neurological damage. The good news is that the last CT done showed no cranial fusion, so that means no cranial surgery!!! Wow. Anyway, I'm finishing up my first Biology course towards MD!!! I'm so excited! Great grades so far, better than nursing school... I know I know, I have a LONG way to go, but that's ok, we're in it for the long haul. Now if I could just figure out what the best pathway is going to be to get there....LOL. Thanks for listening and praying!!

 

[Jubilee]

just say you mommies inspire me

 

[pittneuro]

hey I'm pittneuro and I have an issue. I'm 24, I graduated in 2005 (a month before my 22nd birthday) with a BS in Psychology with a Neuroscience minor. I wanted to do Neuropsychology until I worked in a Neuropsych lab and decided research isn't something I can do for the rest of my life. Anyway, I went back to my original decision of going to medschool and becoming a Neuro-Surgeon (finally got over the jitters of medical practice). So, here's the issue, I just found out that I'm pregnant(approx 4 wks). Im in the process of taking my prereq's for med school, just interviewed for a lovely Emergency Medicine Research Coordinator position at my undergraduate university which would save me a lot of money once I get the job (regarding cost of classes). My concern is how it would be possible to manage a new born (although my boyfriend will be super supportive), a new job, and eventually medschool when my child is around 2 years old...I've been stressing over this for a week now, so if anyone has any comments please feel free...Thanks A Bunch!
P.S.all of your posts have been extremely inspirational, but do u have any advice for a single mother to be? My family is on the other side of the state, my boyfriend just had a baby this July and ours would be born in August. He has no real problem with watching the baby while I'm in class and at work but I have no clue how things will be when I start med school (hopefully 2010)...the demands of the 3rd and 4th yr as well as residency...I'm so confused and super scared...

 

[pittneuro]

I am just amazed at how resilient children are! I've been kind of posting about my son here and there. Well, we measured his head again, and there was small growth, not as much as prefered, but enough for my husband and I to jump for joy! He is doing marvelously! He's gaining weight, crawling, walking along the couch, and he grew from a 0-3 month size to a 6-9 month size in a month and a half! Skipped 3-6 months all together! There are still a few concerns. He postures with his left upper extremity, and he uses the left foot to push off the floor when he crawls, and those in combination with decreased reflexes in his left leg and very small head growth has made his dr want to get an MRI of his brain to check for neurological damage. The good news is that the last CT done showed no cranial fusion, so that means no cranial surgery!!! Wow. Anyway, I'm finishing up my first Biology course towards MD!!! I'm so excited! Great grades so far, better than nursing school... I know I know, I have a LONG way to go, but that's ok, we're in it for the long haul. Now if I could just figure out what the best pathway is going to be to get there....LOL. Thanks for listening and praying!!

I'm elated to see that your son is doing so well! Prayer sure does work!

 

[Jamaica4god]

It won't be easy, but with God, it is very much do-able. Babies are such a great joy!! I have four kids under the age of 7, and work full time as a nurse, and am doing pre-med school full time. My husband is a great support. Don't give up your dream!! One key is to start interviewing people who are willing to nanny for you. Children need consistency in their lives. Doctors I work with have had the same nanny since med school. They become a support to you. If you know someone who is willing to be that, it will make it ten times easier! If you cannot find that person, it is still do-able. In my experiences, it is much easier to do it while they are still little than to wait!!! Good luck!!

 

[Jamaica4god]

If you have family that is willing to help, maybe you could try a school close to them, it might be worth the move...

 

[SwimSwam]

Thank you all for your candid accounts on this great thread. I'm currently formulating a plan for med school and I'm so relieved to see that there are married women with kids already doing it. It's absolutely amazing.

In my case, my husband has a demanding job and I'm essentially a single mom during the week (not to deprive true single moms with the credit they deserve). This translates to him not being of much help at home or with the kids. We've been talking about hiring a maid and a nanny to ease the stress (should I get in). I'm mostly worried about not spending time with my children. I admit the thought of not seeing them drives me a little crazy because they're everything to me. But then, they're also a huge driving force in my desire to accomplish this dream.

So far, I've read and been told that med school courses involve between 10 - 40 hours of classes a week. 40 hours is a full-time job. Does this hold water in comparison to the programs some of you are currently in?

 

[mommy 3]

I think you can do it. I am a 4th year medical student with 3 children and a husband. Support from your husband is very important. It's not easy since the "Medical culture" at this time is very hostile for "the good parents". I have got very discouraging "rude comment" like "you can not be a doctor when I have kids ", "You have to choose between kids and being a physician' or even "you are unfit mother".. Of course it makes me upset and sometimes makes me doubt what I have been trying so hard to accomplish. It is bothering me deep down so much to be honest, but guess what, I am not stopping and keep on fighting!! I give up my own time forI hope that the knokle head out there who thinks long unreasonable hours which is totally not optimal educational environment for human brain realize that this unreasonable "Medical culture" need to be changed. I do not think that we, the mothers and fathers, have a right to be parents and not to be threatened or accused to be unfit just because we are doctors who helps people. So, please do not give up your goal. We are trying to make the life better for our families.

 

[DollBabyKG]

I'm 24, and a married SAHM to a wonderful 2.5 year old boy. I have spent the past 6 years going back and forth about medical school, wondering if I could be a great mom and a good physician, and I've finally made the decision to follow my dreams. I'm taking pre-reqs now, though not full time until my son is 3.5 and old enough for pre-school, so it will be several years (3 or 4) before I'm ready to apply to medical school, but it's really great to see so many other Moms in here! I'm glad to know that I'm not alone, and to find a respite from the constant questioning of my decision (aka how can you do that to your child, you'll never see him, etc). I'm lucky to have a VERY supportive husband, who wants to help me acheive my dreams, though he's an orthopaedic trauma sales rep, so his schedule makes taking classes and finding childcare extremely difficult. But, I figure that this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of that, so we do our best. I'm excited to be taking an EMT class this fall for my "clinical experience." I was a nursing major when I went to college originally, but quickly discovered that nursing was no replacement for practicing medicine. I am worried about the "extra-curricular activities" portion of my application, as I certainly have no time for any extra-curriculars outside the pre-med club, my son, my husband, and my classes. How did you ladies confront this?

 

[HurricaneKatt]

I Was Wondering....
How Has Med School Affected Your Personal Life? I Am A Mom Of 2 And Wife Of A Mostly Understanding Hubby! Lol
I Am Doing Pre-req's Now And Study Constantly But I Do Try To Spend Time With The Kids For Recreational Activities. My 7 Yr Old Son Is Involved In All Sports, Daughter Wants To Start Dance...so On And So On.
Time Is A Valuable Asset To Me Since I Still Clean, Cook, Bathe, And Wait On My Family Hand And Foot...lol
Also, Anyone With Children How Did You Handle The Move To A Different Area From Home? How Well Did They Adjust?

Thanks So Much!

OP, I can partly answer this question from the kids' perspective. I grew up in the Army and, thus, moved a LOT. How kids react depends on their personality and their age. As much as they will be upset to leave their friends, they will be able to make new ones. The younger they are the easier it is and the better they will adjust. Once you get into the Middle/High School age it gets tough b/c that is when a kid's social life is pretty much the most important thing to them. As well, younger kids are generally more accepting of the "new kid," and since in Elementary school you are in the same class all day, all year, it is easier to get to know people as opposed to say High school where each semester you have a new class in each subject, so students are always changing and you do not get the "new kid" recognition - but everyone is new. If your kids are shy and/or do not have high self confidence/social skills, they may have trouble. I suggest signing them up for sports or some other activity or club that will introduce them to kids their age whom they have something in common with. If your kids are confident, outgoing, and have good social skills, they will quickly adjust and begin to enjoy their new home, school, and friends. Most kids do absolutely fine moving. They may be upset at leaving their friends and homesick for a while, but just encourage them to make new friends and comfort them when they are sad and sooner than you know they will be happy as ever with a whole crowd of new friends.

This is all from personal experience and observation. I moved at least every two or three years and went to a different school almost every year. I remember our first big move and after that many others. I have also spoken with others who have moved either once or many times and seen how other kids (i.e. my three younger siblings) dealt with moves as well. Kids are resilient, they'll be fine. I wish you luck on your move and in school!